Inner Critic, Meet Your Newest Teacher, the Tree
Many of us struggle with an inner critic, a judgmental mind. This judgmental mind typically has no boundaries. Criticizing self and others both tend to be fair game. There are many ways to work with this mind state, some of which I have discussed in past blogs. This morning on my walk I was reminded of one method of working with this difficult mind-heart state that is quite pleasant to engage in-the practice of tree contemplation. That might sound a bit new age to you, but stay with me.
Trees come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Trees have different limb structures and different types of bark. The leaves from one tree to the next can be radically different. Trees grow at different rates and bloom at different times of the year. Each year I notice that the dogwood tree in my yard blooms about 4 to 5 weeks after my neighbor’s dogwood. The Japanese maple I am currently looking at has leaves on one side, but the other is as bare as a naked infant. Some trees have red berries, others have none. The white oak tree in the Johnson’s yard is huge and spreads its limbs into our yard as well as the neighbor’s yard on the other side of them. The shade provides for all of us a cool place to be in the Georgia hot summer. The white oak in our yard is smaller and the limbs stay close to home.
Of course, I am not pretending that trees and people are synonymous. But, typically whatever mind state we cultivate and practice over and over in fact has the tendency to generalize. Yes, the brain is an organ that thrives on repetition and has the strong capacity to generalize experience. Most of us know this fact to be true from the negative cultivation of things we say to ourselves about ourselves and others. If you say to yourself over and over “I can’t do that”, whatever THAT is, if you take the time to notice, the more you repeat that phase “I can’t do it”, the more avoidant you become of that task or relationship or whatever THAT is. Similarly, if someone does something that you do not like, even if you have had a long and varied relationship, once you begin the story in your own mind about how “bad” or “wrong” that person is, slowly (or quickly) the distance grows between you two and the relationship is set on a new course. What I am saying is that whatever mind states we cultivate tend to grow…just like trees. You plant a seed of an oak tree, nurture it, and an oak tree grows.
We can use meditation and contemplation to create the mind states that we wish to have. We use focused time to work with our own minds, just like we do if we are learning any new skill. In tree contemplation, if the weather is conducive, go for a 10-15 minute walk. Observe closely each tree that you see. Notice everything you can about that tree. Notice the size, shape, height, color of bark and leaves, the way the branches grow, ways the weather has left its mark, the sound of the wind in combination with the tree, the smell of the tree…all of the nuances that we rarely stop to notice. If you find yourself attaching judgment of preference (“I like this tree, I don’t like this tree”, just notice that, without attachment, and move back into pure noticing or bare attention). Do this over and over, with each tree you see. Bring the mind state of curiosity to the experience. Be intentional. if the weather is not permitting an outside walk, go to your computer and google “images of trees.” Other than smelling or hearing the trees, you can have a very similar experience.
Doing this tree contemplation day after day, your mind begins to take on the quality of noticing without judgment. You are cultivating the ability to interact with life without judgment. You are generalizing a more neutral mind. People begin to “get under your skin” less and less. Perhaps that judgmental voice arises after you feel you have made a mistake, but you notice that it is not as loud. You do not take it as “the truth.” As this happens you begin to feel joy about the fruits of your labor. Not only do you begin to enjoy your relationships with your self and others more, you can’t help but smile at the trees who have become your teacher.