The Power of Kindness

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on something Sylvia Boorstein said in a recent talk, which she generously offered to our sangha. I would consider Sylvia one of the great mothers of American convert Buddhism, especially the Insight tradition. Her wisdom is deep, and her kindness expansive. At age 89, she reflected to us that at this time in her life, her practice is simply kindness. This statement revealed so much to me. It honored her long history of serious dharma practice and spoke to the power of kindness. 

I was also reminded of the Dalai Lama’s frequent acknowledgment that kindness is his religion. I suspect he is saying that more than rituals, doctrines, or religious identities, what truly matters is how we treat one another. His Holiness’s statement also reflects the Buddha’s teaching that true spirituality is not about belief systems but about how we live and interact with the world.

And, frankly, that is what we are doing here, right?? Aspiring to live kinder more peaceful lives. From a Buddhist perspective, kindness is not just sentimental goodwill; it is rooted in wisdom. True kindness arises from recognizing our interdependence. When we clearly see (Pali-sampajanna) that our happiness is bound up with the happiness of others, kindness becomes a natural response. 

One of my favorite contemporary poets, Naomi Shihab Nye, in her poem titled Kindness says…

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness

you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho

lies dead by the side of the road.

You must see how this could be you,

how he too was someone

who journeyed through the night with plans

and the simple breath that kept him alive.

With these powerful words and your own tender heart, dear reader, I invite you to take a moment of pause.  Feel your own breath as it moves in and out of the body. With each inhale, open to presence; with each exhale, relax and release tension. Recognize that this is the same breath that the Indian in the white poncho breathed. We breathe with each other in this human experience. We breathe with all sentient beings. This is the beginning ground of true kindness. 

 The Buddha spoke often about the transformative power of kindness, which we most likely understand through the practice of metta, or lovingkindness. In the Karaniya Metta Sutta, he encourages us to cultivate a boundless heart of goodwill. The sutta is translated as, “even as a mother protects with her life, her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings.” This teaching reveals something profound. Kindness is not a passive or sentimental feeling. It is an active force, a way of living that requires intention, courage, and practice.

 In the world we live in, especially now where strongmen seem to be gaining power in many places, including our country, kindness is sometimes seen as softness, as something secondary to success or power. Or, perhaps not even on the radar. But the Buddha’s teachings tell us otherwise. Kindness is a strength, one that can dissolve fear, build bridges, and even transform the heart of an enemy.

 One of my favorite stories from the Buddha’s life is his encounter with the fierce outlaw, Angulimala. Angulimala, whose name means finger necklace, was a notorious bandit and murderer. He was born as a Brahmin and initially led a normal life, but he was driven to violence and crime due to a series of unfortunate events and misguidance. He became infamous for killing travelers and collecting their fingers as trophies, which he wore as a necklace. One day, while Angulimala was out hunting for victims, he saw the Buddha walking calmly along the path.  Angulimala attempted to chase the Buddha to kill him, but no matter how fast he ran, he could not catch up. The Buddha, moving at a steady pace, simply said, "Stop, Angulimala." Angulimala, confused, responded that he could not stop as he was a murderer and had a job to get done. The Buddha replied, “I have stopped, Angulimala. You, too, can stop.” This statement deeply impacted Angulimala, as he realized that the Buddha had achieved a form of peace and enlightenment that he had never known. The Buddha’s calm presence and profound compassion broke through Angulimala's hardened heart.

 This is not just a story of ancient times. Even today, acts of kindness have the power to shift entire lives. One modern example is the story of Dr. Richard Moore, the founder of children in crossfire, as a child at the age of 10 he was blinded by a rubber bullet during the conflict in Northern Ireland. Instead of harboring resentment, he dedicated his life to reconciliation and social justice, even befriending the soldier who shot him. His kindness was not naïve it was a deep, intentional choice to break the cycle of hatred. There are so many examples of current acts of kindness and organizations with missions that include acts of kindness. I invite you to explore what groups and opportunities in your local area there are for you to join.

 We also see kindness in smaller, everyday moments. Consider a person who pays for a stranger’s meal at a cafe, a neighbor who checks in on someone who is struggling, or taking food to a community fridge or food pantry. These acts may seem small, but they ripple outward, creating waves of connection and healing.

 Interestingly, modern science confirms what the Buddha taught thousands of years ago. Studies show that acts of kindness release oxytocin, sometimes called the love hormone, which enhances trust and social bonding. Kindness also reduces stress and increases overall well-being, both for the giver and the receiver. What this tells us is that kindness is not just a moral ideal, it is woven into our biology. It is how we are meant to live.

Of course, being kind is not always easy. We all have moments of impatience, resentment, or self-protection. But this is precisely why the Buddha taught metta as a practice. Kindness is not just a feeling; it is a discipline, something we cultivate through effort and mindfulness. One helpful practice is metta meditation, where we silently offer wishes of well-being to ourselves and others:

 May you be safe.
May you be peaceful.
May you be happy.
May you be free from suffering.

By doing this regularly, we train the heart to incline toward kindness, even in difficult moments. The Buddha speaks about the root causes of suffering as greed, hatred, and ignorance. Kindness directly counteracts these. When we cultivate kindness, we loosen the grip of self-centeredness and open ourselves to joy. Even in difficult times, an attitude of kindness can transform our experience, making us more resilient and connected.

 On a larger scale, the teaching on metta  suggests that if kindness were the guiding principle in politics, business, and international relations, the world would be a more peaceful place. The Buddha consistently advocated (as does the Dalai Lama now) for nonviolence, dialogue, and mutual understanding, emphasizing that kindness is not weakness but a powerful force for change.

 The Buddha’s path is one of awakening, and kindness is one of its greatest lights. As we walk this path, may we carry that light forward, illuminating the world with the simple yet profound power of a kind heart.

Here is a guided practice if you would like to get started living a kinder more peaceful life.

 Thank you for your practice